Tag: being scared of yourself

Quiet

I am a quiet guy. I hate being involved in dramas and having to deal with other people’s emotions that they surely love to inflict on me. I hate feeling their disturbances. There is no right or wrong way as longest you find your equilibrium of emotional stability and happiness.


1:50am

10 minutes till they stop selling liquor near me. That’s more than enough time to get out of bed, get dressed quickly, and get fast to the gas station. I mean just the rush of rushing it is fucking stimulating.

Then drive home quickly, I live like 3 min away from that gas station. I know what’s next. Is opening up like 3……


Dealing with the feelings

When I was drinking I didnt care what I feel as longest I wasn’t too much in pain or going out of my mind when anxiety hits. Who cared if I was unhappy, happy, sad or bored. I was always sedated and most of the time had no idea whats going on anyways. My feelings came in the last place.

I mean why do feelings even matter? I never understood……


I love vomiting

So I kept waking up through the night chugging down Apple cider vinegar. It seems the only solution for my acid reflux so far. It is not going away. It causes me anxiety when it gets really bad, I want to jump out my body. I keep anti-acid meds in my pocket just like during those times in the past when I was abusing alcohol. My pockets would be full of various……


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