Category: Loving yourself

Thank you for judging me

You have no idea how addiction fucks you up. What it is like to go through life either still being addicted or in recovery. Yes, it took me 5 minutes of complete silence over the phone to be completely honest with you why I’ve had only one year of employment in each job for the past 3 years. It wasn’t because I was fired, I quit. I would save as much money as possible and then quit so I could continue drinking.


Dealing with the feelings

When I was drinking I didnt care what I feel as longest I wasn’t too much in pain or going out of my mind when anxiety hits. Who cared if I was unhappy, happy, sad or bored. I was always sedated and most of the time had no idea whats going on anyways. My feelings came in the last place.

I mean why do feelings even matter? I never understood the point of feeling. Why does it matter if you feel sad……

I love vomiting

So I kept waking up through the night chugging down Apple cider vinegar. It seems the only solution for my acid reflux so far. It is not going away. It causes me anxiety when it gets really bad, I want to jump out my body. I keep anti-acid meds in my pocket just like during those times in the past when I was abusing alcohol. My pockets would be full of various over the counter meds. I had full medicine……

Everything I do is for my recovery

It’s always on my mind about not drinking. I do everything in the name of recovery. I blog, even if I run out of thoughts I look through all the books and find something to blog. I mean it is always from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep….even if I go to take a bath and lit a candle at the same’s all for my recovery. I feel……

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