A fixed mind leads to a dead end. You are different. You have overcome all the demons when your mind split in half during cravings for alcohol. You have stayed sober for all these months, no matter how sad, tired, and anxious you were. Even when having panic attacks and experiencing your heart racing to the point where you thought you would have a heart attack, you didn’t give up. You have come such a long way, and just because of that you get to experience a gift. Frustrations are a gift and I am glad that you are able to see that instead of focusing on the angriness, the disappointment, and the hurt.
I know how hard it is for you to believe. You didn’t believe it either that you could overcome your cravings and stay sober, but now you’ve been sober almost 11 months.
I know how much you wish you had someone to show you the way. It is unbalanced now. I understand that your desire is greater than the knowledge itself, but imagine if you can overcome this. No one said that becoming the leader of yourself would be easy. I am glad that you are at least working on not being a victim. Don’t let frustrations fuel your anger; you are much tougher and wiser now.
Sobriety opened the door. The door is open, and since you went through hell to make it open, you aren’t taking life for granted. You know what it is like to be dead, to be a loser, pathetic, hopeless, a failure. You told yourself, never again! It’s time for you to overcome the shyness, the lack of confidence, and the fear of going for your desires that, till this day, even after everything you went through, are still burning inside you and not leaving you alone.
It might feel very uncomfortable to go beyond who you are, but that’s the only way you will become who you always wanted to be..
-written by me to me