I am a quiet guy. I hate being involved in dramas and having to deal with other people’s emotions that they surely love to inflict on me. I hate feeling their disturbances. There is no right or wrong way as longest you find your equilibrium of emotional stability and happiness.
At first, quietness might seem dull and unappealing. It is scary to give it a try, just stop all the disturbances around you and find a little corner where there is no stimulation except you being with yourself…
As for every drug, same for quietness, it takes some time for the effects to kick in. It is always best to wean off yourself down gently by doing a neutral activity like mindlessly surfing the web or reading a book…
Being lost in a moment is a path of finding yourself in a quietness, suddenly you just wake up and realize how relaxed you are, your heart rate is down, breathing becomes steady, and you start hearing the buzzing sound in your head. Each time as you breath in deeper the pleasure of feeling nothing takes over, that’s the effect of silence. The feel of nothing is addicting. How can nothing be something? It’s the air, smell and all tiny sounds that now have become loud.
All that nagging frustration melts away like ice cream on a hot day…relief takes over, and you start questioning yourself why was I so scared of taking the time to sit in quietness? It’s so nice here!
Suddenly you can feel your heart beating as you think about life being a huge overload of bullshit where your senses go crazy trying to figure out every noise and feeling that comes across. Happiness becomes an act of aggression where I try to acquire more shit so I can hold on to a sense of happy…now it looks so fucking stupid, my aggression requires me to keep on being more and more aggressive just to feel that feeling. The good feeling. I keep on drinking and drinking till my body is exhausted and my mind goes crazy, to the state of confusion. I become confused and scared. It’s like floating in space while always asking what the fuck is going on? Where am I?
The velocity force is impossible to stop. How do you stop? Every excuse is a lie, lie to myself, but unfortunately, I am the one who is paying the price.