I remember when I was going to intensive outpatient program not long time ago, right after I left the rehab. The program was at the same place. We did this exercise called “listening”. We been paired in groups of two and each person had to tell three things of what they are scared happening to them in their recovery. I was paired with this obese blond women who was complaining to me that she is moving to recovery house somewhere far away from here due to being scared of harassment from the people in the bad neighborhood, she is white for your information, so I am lol. Ironically this girl only lasted a couple days in IOP(intensive outpatient program), her reasoning was that people in the group were not sensitive enough and didn’t give her the opportunity to open up…

One of my things that I was scared of happening that I told her about was ” I am scared that I am just pretending to want recovery, I say things in the group just so I can get the approval of other people around me, in reality I dont want recovery, its all just pretend”. After that I looked deeply into her eyes, I wanted to know and feel what she did. It was one of those rare moments when I spoke my mind…

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